Grief Awareness Week 2024

Navigating the Landscape of Loss: A Counsellor's Compassionate Guide to Grief

During Grief Awareness Week, I reflect on and think about the clients that I have worked with over the years, and the resilience I have witnessed. Grief is not a challenge to be conquered, but an experience and period in time to be understood, which is deeply personal that everybody navigates differently.

Grief, bereavement, and loss can be complex - we may experience it as pain, love, nostalgic, or (eventually) healing. It is not a straight path, but meandering with unexpected turns, sudden waves of emotion, and moments of profound connection. The myth that grief follows a neat, predictable trajectory is perhaps one of the most harmful misconceptions I encounter in my practice.

I have heard grief described in countless ways. For some, it is a thunderstorm of emotions that crashes unexpectedly. For others, it is a quiet, persistent ache attached to every moment. For some, it can feel like walking around with an invisible wound - visible to us but often unseen by others.

The Language of Grief: Beyond Words and Expectations

Often, culture (or those around us) gives us a script for grief along the lines of “feel sad for a while, then move on”. But here is a truth that I have learned through years of supporting grieving individuals: there is no expiration date on loss or love, and consequently, no timer on grief. Your grief is as unique as your relationship with the person that was lost.

Some days, grief might look like:

• Laughing at a memory that suddenly feels both painful and beautiful

• Feeling angry at the world for its apparent unfairness

• Experiencing a moment of peace, followed by guilt for feeling that peace

• Sensing the presence of your loved one in the most unexpected moments

Breaking the Silence: Creating Space for Healing

During Grief Awareness Week, I want to extend an invitation to those grieving, to those supporting someone in grief. It is important to dismantle the walls of silence and misunderstanding about grief and bereavement.

To those currently walking through grief: Your pain is valid. Your healing will not look like anyone else's, and that is perfectly okay. Healing is not about "getting over" loss, but about learning to carry that love differently.

Practical Steps Towards Healing

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions: Whether it is through writing, art, talking with a friend, or counselling - find ways to express what you are feeling. Your emotions are not a burden - they are a testament to your capacity to love.

2. Create Rituals of Remembrance: This might mean lighting a candle, creating a memory book, speaking to family about memories, or continuing a tradition your loved one enjoyed. Remembering is not about staying stuck, but about honouring the connection that continues beyond physical presence.

3. Build a Support Network: Grief can be isolating, but you do not have to do it alone. Seek out grief support groups, connect with understanding friends, or work with a counsellor who can provide a compassionate, non-judgmental space.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend experiencing loss. Grief is exhausting - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Rest is not just permitted; it is necessary.

To anyone reading this who is grieving: Your grief speaks to the depth of your love. It is not a weakness but an expression of human connection. There is no timeline, no right way to do this. Some days will feel impossible, and other days will surprise you.

As a counsellor, my role is not to fix your grief, but to walk with you, to hold space for your pain, your memories, and your healing. Grief is not something to overcome, but a journey to be respected, felt, and gradually integrated into the fabric of your life.

If you are struggling, reach out. Whether it is to a friend, a support group, or a counsellor, support is available. You are not alone in this journey.

This Grief Awareness Week, it is important that we create a culture that understands grief not as something to be feared or rushed, but as a sacred, deeply human experience of love and loss.

Photo by RDNE Stock project: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-a-person-s-hand-offering-lily-flowers-8865115/