If you are going through hell, keep going. Or, the power of hopefulness.

I have often found the quote “If you are going through hell, keeping going” to be sometimes useful and other times patronising. Now, I think I understand it a bit more especially after years of helping individuals to work through their own personal versions of hell (if they are feeling depressed or struggling with anxiety or fears). The quote is often misinterpreted as a call for mindless perseverance. However, I think its true usefulness lies in understanding that challenges are temporary and with the right tools and support, we can navigate them to reach a better place.

This page (https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/09/14/keep-going) helped me to understand that the quote did not come from Winston Churchill. Instead, people now consider it to be in circulation amongst other thinkers during a similar period (and later). Regardless, the overall message is the same - it highlights the power of continuing to move forward even when the path ahead seems unclear (or impossible). When we feel depressed or if we have lost a loved one, it is important to keep in mind that things can feel better in time.

This resonates deeply with me in my work. Often, clients come to me feeling lost, hopeless, and unsure of how to move past their current struggle - or, they feel that their present state of mind will never end. They might be facing a job loss, a relationship breakdown, or a period of intense personal difficulty such as performance anxiety, or the fear of leaving the house. In these moments, it can be incredibly empowering to remind them that the present state is not a permanent one. By "keeping going," even when it feels impossible, they open themselves up to the possibility of things getting better. Now, this is easier said than done, but with the right support and the right practices, I have helped individuals learn how to cope with divorces, or how to process a bereavement, or how to manage a redundancy.

The overall idea connects with the concept of hope. Hope is about holding onto the belief that things can improve, even when the evidence seems stacked against us. It is the fuel that keeps us pushing forward, taking that next step, even when we are unsure where it will lead. And - most importantly - hope can be something that we cultivate rather than something that we have to ‘feel’. With the right practices, hopefulness can emerge during periods of difficulty and uncertainty. I will cover how to develop and maintain a sense of hopefulness at the end of the article.

Another approach to facing difficult periods is to change our perspective on the thing that is causing us to feel stuck or distressed. Some call this a ‘reframing’ of the problem. The book "The Obstacle is The Way" (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18668059-the-obstacle-is-the-way) by Ryan Holiday explores this concept beautifully. Holiday argues that the challenges we face are not roadblocks, but opportunities for growth. By embracing the difficulties and finding ways to work through them, we become stronger and more resilient. Another relatively new idea is post-traumatic growth - as opposed to post-traumatic stress (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_growth). We have the opportunity to turn difficult periods into opportunities for growth if we have the right support and practices in place (and potentially the right genes and characteristics).

Mark Manson, in his article "The Question," (https://markmanson.net/question) makes a similar point. He argues that it is not the pursuit of good feelings that defines a fulfilling life, but rather it is our willingness to endure the “bad feelings” that come with pursuing our goals.

"What we get out of life is not determined by the good feelings we desire, but by what bad feelings we’re willing and able to sustain to get us to those good feelings".

This perspective is crucial for my clients. Change and growth are rarely comfortable, but by accepting the discomfort and "keeping going" through the difficult periods, they increase their chances of achieving the good feelings they desire. By reframing obstacles and shifting our perspective on them, and by cultivating hopefulness, periods of stress and trauma can start to feel less overwhelming and less problematic. This is especially true if we have the right support and the can find ways to engage with the right practices.

My closing thoughts on how to be more hopeful about the future:

1. Practice Gratitude

• Keep a gratitude journal - regularly write down things that you are thankful for.

• Express gratitude verbally - Tell others how much you appreciate them.

• Focus on the positive - Deliberately shift your attention to what you have achieved or what is going well in your life.

2. Set Meaningful Goals

• Break down large goals - divide them into smaller, achievable steps.

• Visualize success - imagine yourself achieving your goals and how things will feel different.

• Celebrate milestones - acknowledge and reward your progress.

3. Cultivate Positive Relationships

• Spend time with loved ones - Connect with people who support and uplift you.

• Volunteer or join a community - Contribute to something larger than yourself.

• Build strong social connections - Nurture relationships with friends and family.

4. Engage in Self-Care

• Value your physical health - Exercise regularly, eat nutritious foods, and get enough sleep.

• Practice mindfulness through activities like meditation or yoga.

• Seek professional help - If needed, consult a counsellor or GP for support.

5. Limit Negative Influences

• Reduce exposure to negativity - Limit your consumption of distressing news or media.

• Surround yourself with positive influences - Spend more time with people that improve your mood and engage in uplifting activities.

• Challenge negative thoughts -Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations (might be best with a counsellor).

6. Learn from Challenges

• View setbacks as opportunities - See challenges as chances to grow and learn.

• Develop resilience - Build your ability to bounce back from adversity (might be best with a counsellor)

• Focus on solutions - Rather than dwelling on problems, concentrate on finding solutions.

7. Find Meaning and Purpose

• Identify your values: Understand what is important to you.

• Align your actions with your values - Behave in a way that reflects your beliefs.

• Contribute to something larger than yourself - Find ways to make a positive impact on those around you.

By practicing these strategies, you can foster a sense of hopefulness and enhance your overall well-being. Remember, cultivating hope is a process and it may take time and effort. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.

Photo by Engin Akyurt: https://www.pexels.com/photo/green-leafed-plant-on-sand-1438404/